


Submission

by elaiel



Series: Control Universe [3]
Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, Fingerfucking, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:51:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elaiel/pseuds/elaiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David Telford cannot sleep. Memories of what he has done haunt him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Submission

Rush had only just taken off his shoes and pants and opened his notebook when there was a tapping at his door. He contemplated ignoring it, but when the tap came again he stood and padded sock foot across the room to the door. He pressed the door release and it opened on the turning shoulder of Colonel Telford.  
"David."  
"Ah…" Telford turned back towards him, tense and uncomfortable looking. "Ah…Nick." He looked down to where Rush was just dressed in shorts and a t shirt.  
"You can still call me Nick." Rush said. Telford turned fully to face him. "We were having a sexual relationship for almost a year."  
Telford cringed, and Rush shifted, looking up at him. "I know." Telford said. "I can't forget it."  
"I'd hope not." Rush said. "I'd hope I was at least somewhat memorable."  
"I'm straight." Telford said. He looked around nervously.  
"Come in." Rush said, stepping back.   
He didn't want to let Telford in, but this was not a conversation he wanted to have in the corridor. Bad enough that it had had to become known what was happening. The rest of the crew were either horrified that he could do that to a lover or in awe of someone whose commitment to (depending on their own point of view) the mission, their own morals, or what was right would make them do such a thing. Most everyone was uncomprehending of why he would have sex with Telford. Telford's motivation was clear, it wasn't Telford's own motivation.  
Telford walked in and looked around, finally remembering that Rush's quarters only had a bed. He sat nervously on the end of the bed.  
"You could have fooled me." Rush said sourly. "In fact, you did." He turned to look at Telford. "For a while."  
Telford looked confused a moment before connecting the words to his own previous statement. "I was…am…"  
"Confused." Rush finished.  
Telford stared at him, face deliberately blank. "Yes." He said after a moment, shoulders slumping a little.  
"So why are you back here?" Rush asked coldly.  
There was another long silence.  
"How did you…did you…"  
"Did I enjoy it?" Rush cut in, impatient and irritated. "Yes. Yes I enjoyed it. You were good in bed. Is that what you wanted to know?"  
Telford glared at him. "Do you have to be such a bastard?" He snapped.   
Rush's answering glare was savage. "Well, my ex-lover, who I discover isn't actually into me at all but was only fucking me because he was brainwashed by the enemy, has just pitched up on my doorstep over a month after I fixed him, to pour out his personal pain about fucking me." He sat back down on the top of his bed, back to the wall. "I think I'm pretty fucking justified in being a bastard, don't you?" Telford said nothing. "What do you want David?"  
"That wasn't what I was asking."   
"Could have fooled me." Rush's retort was harsh.  
Telford went to stand. Rush sighed. "David, just say what you want."  
Telford shifted his seat on the bed and turned to look at Rush. Rush waited.  
"I don't know what I am." Telford said, quietly. "I remember enjoying things that I can't believe I'd enjoy. I did things that…I now find distasteful, but my memory of them is of them being extremely pleasurable."  
Telford's words were in a formal language that was unfamiliar coming from his mouth and Rush could see this was how he was managing to keep some distance from the memories that were disturbing him.  
"What do you want me to say David? That I was horrified by what you did? That I regret having sex with you? Apart from the fact that it wasn't actually you that I was having sex with, that the premises of our relationship were contrived and fake, I enjoyed it very much. It was good, you were good at it."  
It was a cheap shot, Rush knew that and he watched Telford cringe at the statement. He took pity on the man.  
"You're questioning your own sexuality and you have no one to talk to about it."   
Telford turned to look at him. "What did you think when I…seduced you." Telford swallowed. "You were straight before that. You were…married."  
"Yes." Rush agreed. "I was married. But I don't think I was committed to any particular definition of my own sexuality. When I was young I had other foci, and then I met Gloria," Rush paused, taking a deep breath, "and that was when I first really thought in depth about sex."  
"Gloria…I was only your second…" Telford stared at him, as if he had suddenly realised the enormity of Rush's admissions and his own actions.  
"Not quite, but not far wrong." Rush said brusquely, shrugging to brush off the importance of the statement. "I'm assuming your experience was more extensive."  
Telford was silent.  
"When did you learn how to sleep with men?" Rush asked, his voice curious.  
"Kiva…" Telford stopped, and it appeared he couldn't continue.   
Rush's sympathy engaged itself again, against his less charitable thoughts on the topic. "No doubt had you educated. Enough said."   
Telford gave him a grateful look. Rush's sympathy however didn't extend to letting Telford sit indefinitely on the end of his bed.  
"That notwithstanding, what do you want David?" Rush demanded. Telford went silent again. "Look, either you talk or you leave. Otherwise this conversation is a waste of my time."  
Telford scowled at him. "You don't know…"  
Rush interrupted him. "Well that's the point isn't it? If I did know we wouldn't be having this rather circular conversation at two in the morning, would we?"  
"I…" Telford began.  
"You need to work out what it is you want to tell me, and whether you're brave enough to go through with it."  
Telford stood. "You bastard, do you even know how difficult this is?" He took two steps towards the head of the bed. "Do you know what it's fucking like to be responsible for…to do something so morally reprehensible!"  
"I don't need your fucking moralising." Rush snapped. "You want to think badly of yourself for having sex with a man, be my guest, I won't and I won't have you looking down on me for it. Deal with it yourself, cause there's no fucking way I'm going to let you put this on me. Blame Kiva, blame yourself do what you fucking want this is not my fault."  
Telford spun and thumped his fist into the wall. Rush swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  
"Work out what the fuck you want Telford or get the fuck out of my quarters."  
Telford turned back and strode back to the bed, standing in front of him looking down.  
"Make a fucking choice." Rush said coldly.  
Telford reached down and grabbed him by the shirt, hauling him up. Rush was impassive as he was hauled to standing.  
"You know the worst part?" Telford growled at him. "It was so damn good at the time. I wake up dreaming about it, dreaming about watching you come over my chest, sticking my fist in your ass, you fucking my ass."  
With snake speed Rush's hand grabbed his crotch, finding it as hard as he expected. "Face it, you like it." Telford snarled and threw him backwards onto the bed, lunging furiously after him. Rush laughed as Telford grabbed him and rather than struggling to get away, rolled flipping Telford over so Rush was straddling him. "That's why you came. Because you wanted to reassure yourself you weren't actually queer." Telford growled and Rush pressed on. "And you failed. You are queer. Just as morally fucking reprehensible as me."  
With a howl of fury Telford threw him off, they rolled, falling off the bed at hitting the floor hard, Telford slamming his fist into Rush's face. Rush struggled to hit him back, unable to land a blow and Telford grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him back into the floor. Rush went limp, dazed.  
"Christ!" Telford seemed to come back to himself. "Nick?"  
Rush didn't respond, still looking dazed. Telford checked him over with his limited knowledge of field medicine then lifted him carefully, cradling him against his chest and placed him on the bed. Telford settled him carefully against the pillows, leaning over him to pull the covers over.  
Rush groaned and pulled away. "Fuck off David. I don't need your moralising or personal trauma. Just let me get some fucking sleep."  
Telford was still close, leaning over him slightly. "Nick…"  
Rush cut him off. "Look David, it was good for me while it lasted, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed you, but you obviously can't deal with it now you're more yourself. Fine, we'll never talk about it again." He closed his eyes. "Please just fuck off and let me get some fucking sleep. We're done."  
"We'll never be done." There was a note of despair in Telford's voice.  
"Just leave, Telford. Leave me here and don't come back."  
"Nick…"  
Rush rolled over away from him, reached out and turned out the light and pulled the blanket over his head. He heard the door open and close, sighed, and tried to find sleep.

The door opening and closing roused him from the near edge of sleep. He swiped the cover back vaguely to find Telford looking down at him, faintly lit in the FTL light.  
"What do you want David?" He muttered sleepily.  
Telford took a breath, swallowed then spoke. "You." Rush looked up at him a little surprised. "I need to know if what I feel is real, what I want is real. I want you. Christ Nick, you're driving me insane."  
"Look David, I'm not going to and fro on this conversation all night." Rush said with exasperation, closing his eyes again.  
Faint noises made him open his eyes again, to see Telford shedding the last of his clothes. The man was naked in the dim light, evidently nervous, but aroused and hard.   
"You." Telford repeated. "Nick…"  
"What do you want me to do?" Rush demanded.  
"Anything." Telford said desperately. "I'll let you do anything. I need something real. I need to know what I like, not what…that other David liked."  
Rush regarded him, trying to keep his face impassive. Telford was still extremely attractive. Tall, muscular, skin dark despite months on Destiny, long limbs and strong hands. Exotic looks. Thick hard cock. Rush knew every part, every plane, every curve of that body.  
"What if what you like is the same?" Rush asked him pointedly. "What if that was you all along, just him using it a different way?"  
Telford looked away, then after a moment forced his eyes back to meet Rush's. "Then I'll do it." His voice was gruff.  
"And if I ask you to touch me, suck me? I'm not just gonna let you lie back and let yourself feel that I'm doing this to you." Rush demanded roughly. "You want this then you can damn well participate."  
Telford's tongue slipped out, wet his lips, then he was moving forward fast, pulling the bedclothes back and in one move pulling down the front of Rush's shorts and wrapping his lips around Rush's already half hard cock and sucking hard. Rush tipped his head back and sucked in a gasping breath then looked down at Telford.   
This was different. Previously Telford had been focused on what he was doing, confident in what his actions were doing to Rush. This Telford was using practiced moves, sucking Rush down with all the skill he had before, but his eyes were staring upwards at Rush's face and his face was anxious, seeking the reaction he was eliciting. A very unfamiliar look on Telford's face. Rush kept eye contact while Telford fellated him, he had missed this, really missed this.  
He thought Telford would have taken him right through till he came, but Rush reached down before he got too close and pulled Telford up to him. He was still angry with Telford, angry that he'd saved him and Telford had walked out on him without so much as a thank you. Oh he hadn't expected that Telford would want to continue the relationship, everything he'd heard about Telford suggested the man was straight, or had been. So he was pushing Telford now, forcing him to face up to this, driving him to test the boundaries of how far he was willing to go.   
He flipped Telford onto his back with gentle pressure on his shoulders and swapped places, running his tongue from Telford's balls to the tip of his cock.  
"Nick…!" His name fell from Telford's lips in a shuddering pant.  
He took Telford in his mouth and began to suck him. Telford's head fell back on the pillow, mouth open in a sigh. Rush watched him curiously, gauging his reaction, his attention. This Telford was a lot less focussed, more overwhelmed by sensation. Rush ran fingers over his perineum and Telford moaned and his hips gave a little involuntary thrust. Much less controlled.  
Rush reached out blindly and grabbed the aqueous cream from the side. He kept his mouth and other hand moving and Telford distracted so Telford did not notice him slicking up his fingers till his index finger slid into Telford's anus. Telford's back arched and he gasped.   
He softened his lips around Telford's cock as he fucked his ass smoothly with a finger. Telford's breath was coming in hoarse pants. Rush pulled his mouth away from his cock.  
"What do you want David?" He demanded stilling the motion of his fingers on Telford's cock and in his ass.  
"Nick...!" Telford's voice was pleading.   
"What do you want David?" Rush repeated.   
"I..." Telford gasped as Rush slid a second finger into his ass.  
"David?" Rush snapped.  
He let his voice take on a tone of irritation as he began to fuck Telford's ass again with both fingers.   
"David, what do you want?"  
David was panting and writhing. Rush crooked his fingers up and forwards and Telford cried out.  
"Ah! Do it, Nick, just do it!"  
"Do what David?"  
"Just do it! Fuck me!"  
Rush sat up, not stopping what his fingers were doing to Telford. "Are you sure David? Are you sure that you actually want this?"  
Telford raised his head from the pillow panting and stared at him.   
"David." Rush said quietly and a little maliciously. "Do you really want this?"  
"Nick!" Telford ground his hips down, fucking himself onto Rush's fingers. "I want it, you're right you bastard, I want it, I fucking like it. I'm not fucking straight."  
Rush laughed out loud. Telford glared at him. Rush added a little more lubricant and slid in a third finger. Telford winced, but ground his hips again letting out a groan.   
Rush looked at him. Telford was going to regret this, he was sure of it, and he was damn sure he wasn't going to give him any reason to. He stretched Telford carefully, watching him writhe and groan as Rush finger-fucked his ass and jerked him slowly. He was seriously attractive and this blown with lust even more so.  
"Roll over." Rush shifted and grabbed a pillow.  
Telford's response was an incoherent groan. Rush pulled his fingers out and grabbed Telford by the hips, manhandling him over, pushing the pillow under his hips. He pushed Telford's legs apart enough so that he could kneel between them carefully pushed himself against Telford's hole. Telford groaned and Rush could feel him bear down a little as Rush breached him.   
He stilled and leaned forward, stroking a hand down Telford's back. "David." He said. There was a mumble back. "You're going t'enjoy every minute of this."  
He grabbed Telford's hips to hold him still and slid in slowly pulling back a forth minutely a few times as he worked himself all the way in. Telford moaned under him. When he was all the way in, his hips flush to Telford's ass, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms round him, pressing his lips to Telford's spine between his shoulder blades.   
This was not their usual modus operandi. Two months ago it would have been hard and fast and desperate, but he slid into Telford, David, as softly as a lover and the other man let out a long sigh. Cheek pressed against David's shoulder blade he fucked him gently, slowly, sliding his hand under him to grasp David's cock.   
David was moving in counterpoint to his slow thrusts, pushing back into a thrust and pressing forward into his hand. It was delicious, the tension building slowly despite the tightness and heat, David's soft moans as he thrust unhurriedly into him. He felt David's hand come up and grab his hand where it rested on his shoulder, pull it down and tangle their fingers together. Nick pressed their joined hands into the mattress as he pressed into David over and over again.  
"Nick...!"   
It was a long quiet exhalation and then with a deep gasp for air David was pulsing hot and wet over Rush's hand and David's ass was clenching rhythmically around him. Rush pushed all the way in and let it take him over the edge too.  
They lay there, getting their breath back.  
"You're a bastard, Nick." Telford breathed. "A total fucking bastard."  
"Given our history, I assume you thought I would want to fuck you till you screamed." Rush said into his shoulder blade.  
Telford twitched briefly in a sour sounding chuckle.   
"I hate to disappoint, but I think I've proved my case. And the fact you're still lying here with my cock in your arse seems to provide sufficient evidence to the fact that you don't need to be raped to submit willingly to extremely gay sex David. Was it good for you too?" His voice dripped with sarcasm.  
"You know it was." David said harshly, but he didn't move.  
"So." Rush said. "Now I suggest you fuck off out of my room and have your personal breakdown somewhere else."  
He moved slightly so his softening cock slipped out of David and rolled to the side, looking for something to wipe himself on. He stood, a little stiffly from exertion and found a towel, wiping himself off then turned back to the bed.   
David was watching him. He took the proffered towel and gingerly wiped his ass. He dropped the towel over the side of the bed.  
"Or I could stay." He suggested cautiously.  
Rush regarded him contemplatively, raising a hand to his face and rubbing the back of his knuckles under his jaw. "So you've decided you're not goin' to have your emotional collapse about bein' queer just yet then?"  
"Nick." David's voice was tired. He ran his fingers over his close cropped hair.  
"Roll over, you're taking up all the space."  
He turned out the lights and slid into bed. David spooned up behind him awkwardly.  
"Nick?"  
"I don't feel much like talking now David. Just go to sleep."  
He felt David lift his head off the pillow to look down at him. "Okay, but we talk in the morning."  
"If we must. Now follow a fucking order for a change and go to sleep."  
David sighed and wrapped himself further round Rush. "Fine, tomorrow."


End file.
